Billboard: Ian and Kristy’s Top Ten Hits of 2009

Fresh from their sold-out 2008 tour of lip-synching to unpopular bands in the car, the self-acclaimed duo known as The Laidlawnmowers (allegedly often mistaken for The Who?), Kristy and Ian Laidlaw, embarked on an grueling and ambitious 2009 series of studio production hits and tour favorites.

 

Here is their [cue reverb] Top 10 Countdown.

#10: I left my tailbone in Carolina

While not strictly in Carolina (well, not in Carolina at all actually), the band travelled to the wistful Pocono mountains where they proceeded to spend most of their time in the sitting/recovery position while learning how to snowboard on ice. A good time was had by all, followed by months in traction. Rock and roll!

#9: Home is just a 20 hour plane-ride away

With the US economy crashing, the band decides to flee the country and donate their hard(ly)-earned tax return to the New Zealand tourism industry. There, they narrowly avoid disaster when forgetting that gas stations are not placed every mile, but have good times with their first experience with guns (pictured – strangely never having seen one in the US and with also strangely with Ian outshooting a police officer), seeing old friends, family, and with a fantastic surprise birthday party for Ian organized by Kristy and friend/groupie Lianne.

#8: We don’t not need no education

Just like in that movie where that guy goes back to school, the band, um, also goes back to school. Kristy aces her way through year 1 of her Masters in Teaching English as a Second Language and Ian starts plowing through year 2 of social work grad school, partially burning out in September and giving up on the mountain of readings, but still performing well by faking knowledge.

#7: Like a lobster over bubbling water

Summer vacation sees the band hook up with an actual musician (Kristy’s brother, Micah) for an epic tour of Maine and French-Canada. Highlights of the tour included cooking live lobsters at the campground in Maine, packing up the tent in torrential rain and confusing the tourists by setting it up to dry it out at the Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream factory, cycling the canals in Montreal, eating Poutine, and catching up with old friends.

#6: I love Rock & Roll [especially if it’s only $15 a ticket]

On the back of some very enjoyable concerts (particularly Wilco, Pete Seeger, and Danielson), the band decides to jump on the social networking bandwagon Obama-style by creating an online social group for other music fans as a way to experience the very inexpensive independent music scene in New York, relieve some of the stress of work and school, and make new friends. The Monthly Indie is thus born in October, and various people have so far hooked up to see a slew of variously-talented musicians do their thing in small music clubs around Manhattan.

#5: In the sunshine of your love of plants

The band causes a paparazzi media blowout in a shocking move of their garden from the back to the front of the house. Guest stars include Larry Lemongrass, Barry Basil, and Colin the Creeping Cucumber. This increases visual appeal, but the abundance of rain and lack of sun forces Tommy Tomato into a depressive wilt, and he drops out of the fruity festival with not a single tomato to show for it. Fiji the Feijoa from New Zealand does spectacularly well, however, due to the pampering star treatment (he gets his own pad and is carted from sunny spot to sunny spot, even having his own heater available indoors in the winter while the rest of the band is away). Rumors abound he may go solo.

#4: With a lot of help from my friends

The band would like to dedicate this song to all of their friends near and far! 2009 proved to be a good reunion year with a NY tour with singer-songwriters from the UK (Anna and her lovely mum) and Canadian tour with old friends from Japan (Baril family) and the UK (Shona). The band also teamed up with many new friends this year for river kayaking, camping in a torrential downpour, and other such shenanigans. With the help of their friends, our band also hosted their first annual charity brunch and gift-buying for those in need this holiday season. The band feels truly blessed to have such a wonderful group of fans, uh, I mean, friends.

#3: I think I’ve already turned Japanese

Three years in New York sees the band still savoring ties with the land of Mr. Roboto. Favorite restaurants and grocery items are still received with much giddiness, and the band regularly visits both American and Japanese church venues. This year, Ian and Kristy swapped their Les Paul Standards for Okinawa sanshins when they joined the Okinawa Peoples Association of New York. Incidentally, the summer picnic just happened to be located alongside the Kiwi Club’s summer picnic, so Ian was able to do a bit of networking. In other news, Kristy charms audiences at work and (hopefully) will be awarded tenure in the spring. Domo arigato!

#2: Start spreading the news

The band takes a bite out of the Big Apple this year by having lots of new experiences including seeing the New York City Ballet perform, participating in a midnight survey for the homeless, biking along the Hudson River, viewing NYC fireworks from behind a tree, and taking Ian’s clients to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Show. Ian also organized a surprise night out for Kristy’s 30^th birthday featuring a Japanese yakiniku BBQ meal followed by a karaoke nijikai (second party) with friends where the band paid tribute to the recently deceased King of Pop.

#1: Happy Holidays (upcoming release)

Our duo heads to Philadelphia with sidekick Korean friend, Jack Daniel (actually his name!) to celebrate Turkey Day with relatives. Jack and Ian are introduced to the Macy’s parade and putting up Christmas lights while Kristy falls in love with the food processor. For Christmas they plan to pack the sleigh and head to Indiana to be with family. With this catchy tune, they wish you and your family a very joyous Christmas season and a New Year filled with love and peace. The band would like to thank their family and friends for all of their support, and God, who makes all of these things possible!

 

 

    Much love,

    Ian and Kristy Laidlaw

Thanksgiving with Jack Daniel from Korea and other stories…

So we made this new friend who is here from Korea studying English until March. When I asked him what his name was the first time, he explained that his name was Daniel, or I could call him Jack… or Jack Daniel… or Joe. He’s from Korea, so he originally decided to call himself Daniel here so that it would be easy for people to remember… only they decided that Jack was easier(?). That’s how he explains it when people ask him about his memorable moniker. We’ve been having a blast getting to know him and teaching him all sorts of useful English phrases like what it means when you look at someone after they've been talking for awhile and say, "anyway," what being “full of yourself” means and what it means when you "get backed up.” When he offered to watch me pull out of my parking space in a crowded parking lot after dinner, he also got a good lesson on his use of, “Kristy, I’ll watch your backside, okay?” Aren't languages such fun things! Oh, this brings back great memories of all the times I grossly misused Japanese! Jack is such a good sport, and we have so much fun swapping stories.

My aunt and uncle invited us down to Philadelphia to join them for Thanksgiving weekend. We were so excited when they said they were thrilled to host Jack for his first Thanksgiving, too! Ian had arranged with Jack to pick him up at his dorm on Wednesday after work before we headed down to Philly. He soon discovered that he was in a little bit of an awkward situation when he couldn’t dial Jack’s cell phone because his room wasn’t picking up a signal, and had no idea of our friend’s real name! So Ian did the only thing he could think of: he walked into the school and started asking people, including a burly security guard, if they happened to know Jack Daniel. Of course everyone looked at him like, “Is this some sort of joke?” In the end, after a bit of detective work with the school administrator, they were finally able to narrow the search and find our Jack Daniel! Thanksgiving was a blast in the end with Ian and Jack getting to experience all of the traditional stuff like watching the Macy’s parade, getting wrangled into dinner preparation, putting up Christmas lights, and eating Philly cheesesteaks! (Wait a second…I thought it was turkey?)

Of course after all of that fun, we both caught colds the next week. On top of that, the grad school semester is wrapping up, keeping both of us busier than normal, so we were both more out of it than usual last week. One morning, I saw that Ian had forgotten his lunch just as he walked out the door on his way to work. I was still in my glasses and jammies, but that didn’t stop me from running outside after him. As I ran down the driveway after his car screaming like a banshee in nothing but my pajamas and fuzzy socks, a thought occurred to me. I thought if I could just thump the car with something, maybe he would hear me and stop. So, I launched his lunch at the car as hard as I could… but he just kept going! He must have really been out of it. Just as I bent over to pick up the lunch bag and an apple that rolled down the driveway towards me in defeat, Ian must have seen me in his rearview mirror and thought, “What is that?” So, in the end, I was able to give him his lunch even though the apple was a bit bruised on one side! That’s love, right?!

This weekend we also had a really cool experience of having a bunch of friends help us out with our first Christmas Charity brunch! We hosted a group of our friends for a festive brunch in the morning, and then we all went out to buy presents for people in need. It is such a great feeling buying gifts for people who really need them, and we had a lot of fun trying to find the best deals, ransacking toy stores, and finding cute sweaters for teenage girls at the trendy mall shops. By the time we left the mall it was already snowing beautifully to add to our Christmas joy! We were all totally in the Christmas spirit as we headed back to the house to “show and tell” the gifts we had found and wrap them up. Of course there was plenty of good food to go around as well as a cup of tea, hot chocolate, hot apple cider, or eggnog for every good “elf”! I can’t wait to do this again next year! Thanks to all of our wonderful friends who contributed!