Billboard: Ian and Kristy’s Top Ten Hits of 2009

Fresh from their sold-out 2008 tour of lip-synching to unpopular bands in the car, the self-acclaimed duo known as The Laidlawnmowers (allegedly often mistaken for The Who?), Kristy and Ian Laidlaw, embarked on an grueling and ambitious 2009 series of studio production hits and tour favorites.

 

Here is their [cue reverb] Top 10 Countdown.

#10: I left my tailbone in Carolina

While not strictly in Carolina (well, not in Carolina at all actually), the band travelled to the wistful Pocono mountains where they proceeded to spend most of their time in the sitting/recovery position while learning how to snowboard on ice. A good time was had by all, followed by months in traction. Rock and roll!

#9: Home is just a 20 hour plane-ride away

With the US economy crashing, the band decides to flee the country and donate their hard(ly)-earned tax return to the New Zealand tourism industry. There, they narrowly avoid disaster when forgetting that gas stations are not placed every mile, but have good times with their first experience with guns (pictured – strangely never having seen one in the US and with also strangely with Ian outshooting a police officer), seeing old friends, family, and with a fantastic surprise birthday party for Ian organized by Kristy and friend/groupie Lianne.

#8: We don’t not need no education

Just like in that movie where that guy goes back to school, the band, um, also goes back to school. Kristy aces her way through year 1 of her Masters in Teaching English as a Second Language and Ian starts plowing through year 2 of social work grad school, partially burning out in September and giving up on the mountain of readings, but still performing well by faking knowledge.

#7: Like a lobster over bubbling water

Summer vacation sees the band hook up with an actual musician (Kristy’s brother, Micah) for an epic tour of Maine and French-Canada. Highlights of the tour included cooking live lobsters at the campground in Maine, packing up the tent in torrential rain and confusing the tourists by setting it up to dry it out at the Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream factory, cycling the canals in Montreal, eating Poutine, and catching up with old friends.

#6: I love Rock & Roll [especially if it’s only $15 a ticket]

On the back of some very enjoyable concerts (particularly Wilco, Pete Seeger, and Danielson), the band decides to jump on the social networking bandwagon Obama-style by creating an online social group for other music fans as a way to experience the very inexpensive independent music scene in New York, relieve some of the stress of work and school, and make new friends. The Monthly Indie is thus born in October, and various people have so far hooked up to see a slew of variously-talented musicians do their thing in small music clubs around Manhattan.

#5: In the sunshine of your love of plants

The band causes a paparazzi media blowout in a shocking move of their garden from the back to the front of the house. Guest stars include Larry Lemongrass, Barry Basil, and Colin the Creeping Cucumber. This increases visual appeal, but the abundance of rain and lack of sun forces Tommy Tomato into a depressive wilt, and he drops out of the fruity festival with not a single tomato to show for it. Fiji the Feijoa from New Zealand does spectacularly well, however, due to the pampering star treatment (he gets his own pad and is carted from sunny spot to sunny spot, even having his own heater available indoors in the winter while the rest of the band is away). Rumors abound he may go solo.

#4: With a lot of help from my friends

The band would like to dedicate this song to all of their friends near and far! 2009 proved to be a good reunion year with a NY tour with singer-songwriters from the UK (Anna and her lovely mum) and Canadian tour with old friends from Japan (Baril family) and the UK (Shona). The band also teamed up with many new friends this year for river kayaking, camping in a torrential downpour, and other such shenanigans. With the help of their friends, our band also hosted their first annual charity brunch and gift-buying for those in need this holiday season. The band feels truly blessed to have such a wonderful group of fans, uh, I mean, friends.

#3: I think I’ve already turned Japanese

Three years in New York sees the band still savoring ties with the land of Mr. Roboto. Favorite restaurants and grocery items are still received with much giddiness, and the band regularly visits both American and Japanese church venues. This year, Ian and Kristy swapped their Les Paul Standards for Okinawa sanshins when they joined the Okinawa Peoples Association of New York. Incidentally, the summer picnic just happened to be located alongside the Kiwi Club’s summer picnic, so Ian was able to do a bit of networking. In other news, Kristy charms audiences at work and (hopefully) will be awarded tenure in the spring. Domo arigato!

#2: Start spreading the news

The band takes a bite out of the Big Apple this year by having lots of new experiences including seeing the New York City Ballet perform, participating in a midnight survey for the homeless, biking along the Hudson River, viewing NYC fireworks from behind a tree, and taking Ian’s clients to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Show. Ian also organized a surprise night out for Kristy’s 30^th birthday featuring a Japanese yakiniku BBQ meal followed by a karaoke nijikai (second party) with friends where the band paid tribute to the recently deceased King of Pop.

#1: Happy Holidays (upcoming release)

Our duo heads to Philadelphia with sidekick Korean friend, Jack Daniel (actually his name!) to celebrate Turkey Day with relatives. Jack and Ian are introduced to the Macy’s parade and putting up Christmas lights while Kristy falls in love with the food processor. For Christmas they plan to pack the sleigh and head to Indiana to be with family. With this catchy tune, they wish you and your family a very joyous Christmas season and a New Year filled with love and peace. The band would like to thank their family and friends for all of their support, and God, who makes all of these things possible!

 

 

    Much love,

    Ian and Kristy Laidlaw